Making Peace with Your ADHD Diagnosis: Finding Connection and Acceptance
Getting an ADHD diagnosis can be a life-altering event, especially if it is an adult diagnosis. You have learned something new about yourself and how your brain is wired. Things are the same as they have always been, but now, you know more about what is happening. You have a name for your struggles and unique traits. While it is a good thing to finally have answers, it can be a hard thing to handle. How does one make peace with oneself after an ADHD diagnosis? How does one make peace with one’s past after an ADHD diagnosis? It is a journey following an ADHD diagnosis, for sure, but there is hope. You can take control of the wave of new information and experiences, but it is important to remember you do not have to do it alone. You can make some key connections that will help you grow and make peace with your life.
Connection Is Key
In their book Delivered from DIstractions, Drs. Ned Hallowell and John Raty state that “Creating a connected life is the key to happiness and health.” Being isolated is not good for anyone. Other people are there for a reason. Since the dawn of humanity, people have been living near other people. Cities are a thing because people need other people. So, if you just received your ADHD diagnosis, connect with other people. Drs. Hallowell and Raty list a bunch of different places to find connections in their book. However, I would argue that one of the best places to find connection is other people with ADHD.
The ADHD community is a supportive community, and it feels so good to connect with them. One of the reasons I love going to the ADHD Conference every year is seeing all of the people I know from past ADHD conferences or other ADHD-world connections. It is such a great experience to be around a bunch of people who “get it.” It helps you learn, grow, and connect.
How to Find Connections
I get it. Not everyone can go to the ADHD conference every year. Plus, that is only once a year. Connection needs to be a year-round thing. So, how does one find connection when one cannot travel to the ADHD conference? Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) has local chapters that hold meetups. However, they do not have meetups in every city. For example, I am in an area that does not have a CHADD chapter. I cannot go to one of their meetings. I would if I could, but I can’t. However, I was, for a while, a regular at some of the virtual support groups held by the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA). In fact, I met my YouTube video-making partner through one of those support groups. Bottom line: there are options out there for in-person and online support and connection. Be bold. Be brave. And, try out an ADHD support group.
Remember: You Did the Best You Could with What You Had (AKA Connecting with Your Past Self)
Now, one area where it is important to find connection that I do not want to neglect is the connection with yourself. Having ADHD and not knowing it can be difficult. When you finally get that ADHD diagnosis, you might think back on what might seem like missed opportunities. It may seem like you failed in those instances or that you could have done better. “If only…” you might think. However, we cannot change the past. Time travel is not available to us. We have to accept what happened in the past. We have to remind ourselves that we did the best we could with what we knew at the time. I believe that. All of us who have experienced growing up without an ADHD diagnosis were trying our best, and we did the best we could with what we had. So, if the what-ifs come up for you, say to yourself, “You did the best you could with what you had.”