Why I Became an ADHD Coach
(SIDE NOTE: I apologize for the length of this blog post)
Last week, I wrote about what makes Reset ADHD unique. In that blog post, I said I would probably write a follow up about what else makes my coaching practice unique. While thinking about how to follow up with that, I wondered if I ever told the story of why I decided to become an ADHD coach. I thought I had, but as it turns out, I have not written that story down. What I thought was the story of why I became a coach was, in fact, a letter to myself about why I am a coach, in case I ever doubt myself and my chosen career. If you want to read more about my why for being a coach, give it a read. However, if you are simply interested in a story version of why I am a coach, this is the blog post for you!
As a Kid, What Did I Want to Be?
I wanted to be many things when I was a kid. One of the most common things I wanted to be was a professional athlete. At first, I wanted to be a basketball player. Later, I wanted to be an NFL quarterback. Once I saw the writing on the wall, my thoughts shifted to becoming a professional actor. It was my goal to move out to Hollywood and become a film star. I am not sure where that dream died, but by my junior year of high school, I wanted to be an entrepreneur. (Somewhere in there I also had dreams of going into politics, but the way the media treated Sarah Palin’s family during the 2008 election quickly dissuaded me from pursuing that path.) I graduated high school with dreams of starting my own business and making it quite profitable.
The College Years
My first semester of college, I attended Saint Mary’s University of Minnesota in the town of Winona. There, I planned to major in entrepreneurship. However, before I could declare a major, I found I was unsatisfied with life at Saint Mary’s. I could go into the list of reasons why I didn’t like it there, but that is not the focus of this blog post. After one semester, I transferred to the University of Sioux Falls.
USF did not have an entrepreneurship major, so I settled into a general business administration major and hoped to specialize in entrepreneurship. However, during my first semester at USF, my accounting professor called me into his office and encouraged me to major in accounting. After some deliberation and prayer, I decided to give it a shot. Then, I took some more accounting courses. I did not enjoy them. However, I was really close to a minor in accounting, so I powered through to get that. I ended my time at USF with a bachelor’s degree in business administration with a minor in accounting.
The Post-College Year
When I graduated college, I knew I still wanted to start my own business, but I did not have any idea of what type of business I wanted to open. Without a business idea, it’s hard to become an entrepreneur. So, I explored other careers. I shadowed a commercial real estate agent, but that did not lead anywhere. I sent my resume out to a bunch of hockey teams, hoping to land a job in a game day promotions department or as a mascot. That also led nowhere. Eventually, I basically gave up on finding a job. I spent the summer after graduation doing not much of anything. I tried to keep a good routine and have structure to my day. I tried to use YouTube to learn as much as I could. One of the things I started doing around that time was writing. I got a couple of writing opportunities and thought that maybe I could become a freelance writer.
I spent the next year writing daily. I wrote a few things that got published online, but the book I wrote never found a publisher. (I eventually self-published it.) The other disappointing thing about my year as a freelance writer was that I made no money. No one wanted to pay me to write. I, therefore, decided to try something else and go back to school.
Graduate School
Quite impulsively, I enrolled in an online masters program for criminal justice. I have always had an interest in crime and detective stories, so I thought it would be interesting to my ADHD brain to go into the criminal justice field. When I first entered my program, I had dreams of becoming a detective, but I quickly learned that one has to be a regular cop before one can become a detective. I did not want to hand out traffic tickets, so I moved on from that idea. I flirted with becoming a parole officer like my maternal grandfather, but eventually I landed on teaching criminology. My concentration in my masters program was the analysis of criminal behavior. Some of the course work had me studying the brain and how it affects our behavior, which I found fascinating.
Because I wanted to teach criminology at the collegiate level, I decided to look into doctoral programs and get some experience in the classroom. I began applying to doctoral programs while spending some time as a substitute teacher.
Floundering
I can sum up my experience as a substitute teacher in two words: It sucked. I was so bored. Substitute teaching is glorified babysitting. I had a masters degree and was hoping teachers would be begging for me to be their sub. I wanted to actually teach, but I did not get that opportunity. Instead, I handed out worksheets and told kids to be quiet. After a year of that, I was bored and had not gotten into any doctoral programs. I, again, found myself not doing much of anything that summer. I thought about using my master’s degree to start a true crime podcast and even bought a microphone for it. However, that did not come to fruition. While sitting around my house wondering what was going on with my life and continuously asking why I couldn’t get anything going in my life career-wise, I came to the realization that I was not managing my ADHD well. I began researching ADHD in earnest.
Writing a Book about ADHD
While diving into ADHD, I began to feel a desire to read a book that covered both ADHD and my faith. I could not find one. Dejected, I wondered what to do. I had an intense desire to read a book that did not exist. In the back of my mind, I heard a voice say, “You know, Dr. Peter Kreeft, one of your favorite authors, only writes a book when there is a book he wants to read that doesn’t exist.” I knew what that meant, but I didn’t want to write a book on Catholicism and ADHD. I wanted to read one. The voice kept pestering me. I finally relented and began to write one as an experiment. I made no commitment to myself to actually finish it, but I started. As I kept going with the project, I was learning more and more. I grew fascinated with the subject and became determined to finish it. The book became my focus in life, but I knew I still needed a job. I continued substitute teaching, and during that year of substitute teaching, I realized more and more that I was not meant to be a substitute teacher.
While working on the book, I kept agonizing over what I was being called to do in life. In the late fall of 2017, I thought about ADHD coaching, but I chickened out. I then heard about a friend’s job in financial fraud, and it sounded interesting. I decided that is what I wanted to do, so I re-enrolled in an accounting course (even though I hated accounting) to get myself reacquainted with financials. While taking that class, I ran into some health problems and had to drop the course. While recovering from my health problems, I resumed working on the book and wondering what to do with my life.
Then, a friend came to me and told me he thought he had ADHD. He asked me questions about the diagnosis process, and I was able to walk with him while he underwent testing for ADHD. He ended up not getting diagnosed with ADHD, but being there for him and writing my book (also self-published) on ADHD awoke a passion in me for helping those with ADHD.
Committing to ADHD Coaching
I was once again thinking about ADHD coaching. I was hesitating, though. So, I went on Wikipedia and found cities with the approximate size (population-wise) of my city, Sioux Falls, SD. Then, I reached out to ADHD coaches in those cities and asked if it was a legitimate career possibility in an area with that many people. I cannot remember how many responses I got, but I do remember one coach assuring me that it was possible to build a business because most coaching clients are virtual. Despite this assurance, I was not ready to sign up for ADHD coach training. I was scared it wouldn’t work out.
While looking for jobs, I applied for and got an interview for a job as a proof-reader at a label making company. A couple of days before the interview, I asked myself if that is something I really wanted to do, and I answered that I did not. It sounded so boring! That gave me the confidence to sign up for classes at the ADD Coach Academy. I decided to sign up for just one class, though, to see if I liked it. If I liked it, I would take more classes. I didn’t like it; I LOVED it. And, I have never looked back.