Perseverance
Why ignore reality? Life with ADHD can get really hard. There are struggles aplenty. I do not have to describe them to you. Chances are, you know what I am talking about. In the moments when life seems difficult, what do you do? The answer can be found in a scene from the 2003 movie Finding Nemo. In the scene, Marlin is sad about his missing son and is ready to give up. That is when Dory swims up to him and encourages him to “just keep swimming.” Out of context, the advice “just keep swimming” is silly and not helpful. However, when viewed by us land-dwellers in context, we find a perfect piece of advice. We may not be swimming, but we can keep going. It can be challenging to keep moving forward, but we must do so. Granted, it is not easy, but it is necessary. So, how does one stick with it?
Make a Vow
A vow is a solemn promise. By taking a vow to do whatever it takes, you become accountable to yourself. It feels bad to give up on something we vowed to do. To avoid the bad feeling, you will get the job done. We ADHDers don’t like feeling bad (well, okay, no one does). It becomes more enticing to get the thing done if we know it will feel awful to not get it done.
However, some with ADHD will struggle to be accountable to themselves. I get this. I know what a promise from myself is worth. I have vowed to do things and have not followed through. So, let’s look at some more ADHD-friendly ways of building up perseverance.
Accept Failure
Perseverance comes when you have hit a difficult spot and have chosen to keep going. If you fail, keep going. Try again. Another one of my favorite cinematic reminders of perseverance is the 2006 movie, Rocky Balboa. In the scene in question, the title character encourages his son to keep moving forward when life gets hard. He says, “it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!” What we can learn from the Italian Stallion is to accept when things don’t go our way, but keep moving forward anyway. Embracing failure is okay. We can learn from it, but we have to keep going.
Have a Growth Mindset
One of the best ways to learn from failure is to have a growth mindset. I won’t go on and on about it because I have previously written a four-part blog series on it. The easiest way to describe it is to say that it is a way of looking at the world that is focused on growing. With a growth mindset, you don’t say, “I can’t do that.” Instead, you say, “I have not yet mastered that. Having a mindset like this will make persevering easier.
Have a Cheerleader (or several)
Lastly, one of the best ways to keep on persevering when things get difficult is to have a cheerleader, someone who supports you no matter what. You want someone in your corner that is rooting for you to succeed. This person or persons will help inspire you to keep moving forward in the face of difficulties.