How to Fall Asleep
When I was younger, I could never fall asleep in a timely manner at night, no matter how tired I was.
I would lie on my bed with thoughts swirling around my head, unable to calm them down and lull myself to sleep. For me, nighttime has always been a time to think, especially about serious topics. It may be due to my ADHD or the fact that, at a young age, I had to deal with the very adult situation of my parents’ divorce.
Whatever the reason for these philosophical adventures, it was a common occurrence for me to lie awake at night thinking about, for example, what would happen if you drilled a hole from one side of the earth to the other side and dropped a rock down it or reason my way to the same philosophical proof for the existence of God Saint Thomas Aquinas had written about, even though I had never read Aquinas. These thoughts would not cease, and I could not get to sleep.
Whenever I would go to my mom and tell her I could not sleep, she would have varying reactions. Sometimes, she would lie down next to me in my twin bed, stroke my hair, and try to get me to calm down. Other times, she was less patient with me. One time she yelled at me, “You haven’t even tried yet!” I ran back upstairs, terrified and confused. That made no sense to me. How could I have tried harder to fall asleep? In my mind, you laid down and closed your eyes. That was it. How does one try to sleep? It seemed the more I tried to sleep, the less likely I was to actually fall asleep. The incident where my mom screamed at me was one of the last times I went to her with my struggles to fall asleep. I soon resigned myself to the fact that I was just someone who struggled to fall asleep.
This is a common struggle for those with ADHD, but not one we have to accept. The reality is sleep is possible. You can fall asleep. I have developed a little sleep formula that can help you understand what needs to happen for you to fall asleep.
The Sleep Formula: In Bed + Feeling Tired + A Calm Mind = Sleep
In Bed
You are much more likely to fall asleep in bed than you are anywhere else in your house. So, the first step in falling asleep is to physically get into bed. This can be hard for ADHDers who struggle with time management and hyperactivity. However, there are ways of getting to bed on time. Alarms and other reminder systems can be useful to remind oneself to go to bed. Furthermore, a coach can help you determine what is holding you back from getting to bed on time and what will work for you to reverse that.
Feeling Tired
This might seem obvious, but you must be tired to fall asleep. What this means is your body must be in the right state to fall asleep
Your body has a natural cycle of sleep and wakefulness. If you stay up too late, you might catch a second wind and have a hard time falling asleep. The goal is to get in bed and fall asleep before this happens.
Moreover, there are things you can do during the day to ensure you feel tired when you are supposed to feel tired. One of the best things you can do is exercise. You want to have exercised at some point during the day, so you are tired in the evening. However, be careful not to exercise too close to bedtime. Exercising too close to bedtime can cause you to feel energized.
Another way to make sure you feel tired at night is to avoid screens prior to bed. The blue lights from electronic devices can keep you up at night. I keep some blue-light-blocking glasses around the house to wear if I am looking at my screens in the hours just before bedtime.
A Calm Mind
Having a calm mind at bedtime is easier said than done. It always seems like late at night is a time for the ADHD brain to go wild. Exterior hyperactivity is replaced with interior hyperactivity. It can be hard to shut one’s brain down and go to sleep, but that is exactly what needs to be done. So, how does one accomplish that?
My suggestion is to find something that will capture your attention but is not so exciting that it energizes you. For example, I listen to a podcast called Sleep with Me. The stories the host tells hit that Goldilocks spot of being interesting enough for attention but not too interesting. Before I found Sleep with Me, I used to listen to episodes of other podcasts that I had already heard, so I could enjoy the storytelling without the emotional side of wondering what happens next. I know there are other people who listen to people like Bob Ross or Mr. Rogers who have soothing voices to help them fall asleep. What will help you?