How to Get Started When You Just Don't Wanna
One of the hardest things to do when you have ADHD is to get started. It is even harder and nearly impossible to get started when you have ADHD and don’t want to do the task at hand. Dr. Russell Barkley calls ADHD a “motivation deficit disorder.” This can be a hard mountain to climb. However, there are some things you just need to power through, even when you do not want to do them. Here is how:
Lean into Discomfort
When we do not want to do the thing, we feel discomfort. This can be worrisome because discomfort leads to distraction or procrastination. When you feel discomfort, notice it. Acknowledge it.
What you also need to acknowledge is that, through discomfort, growth comes. By powering through and doing the thing we don’t wanna, you grow. On the other side of discomfort is victory.
Picture the Victory
Simply planning to succeed might inspire you to get started. If you keep your end goal in mind, you are more likely to get the thing done. For example, if you need to clean your house, picture how nice it will be to enjoy a clean house. This will inspire you to meet that goal.
Just Do the First Tiny Step
Sometimes, you can trick your brain into doing the whole task by doing just the first step. For example, I hate washing dishes, so sometimes, I tell myself I can just wash one and then do the rest later. Almost every time, “later” becomes right away. When confronted with a big task, just tell yourself you are only going to do just one tiny step. Often the first tiny step is just setting up the task. Once it is all set up, you might find yourself saying, “Well, I might as well do it as long as it is all ready to go.”
Prove to Your Brain the Excuses Are Wrong
As soon as you begin to feel discomfort about doing a task, your brain will come up with excuses as to why you cannot or should not do it now. However, those excuses are often wrong. For example, will it really take you forever to mow the lawn? No, it will not take forever. It will take a shorter amount of time than you think. Those of us with ADHD tend to let our negative emotions predict how long something will take. Those negative emotions almost always predict it will take a long time when, in reality, it is often much shorter.
Change Up the Task to Make It More Stimulating
ADHDers are attracted to those things that stimulate the brain. This is one of the reasons we procrastinate. If we put something off until it is close to a deadline, then it becomes urgent, and our brain wants to get it done. However, procrastinating is not the healthiest option. One thing you could do is score the task. Make it a game or a challenge. Give yourself points for doing each part of it. Or, you could give the task a musical score. If I want to get myself excited for something, I sometimes turn on the song “Thunderstruck.” That song gets me PUMPED.
Accountability
Tell someone what you need to do and ask them to check to make sure you did it. This may sound like a job for a parent, but it is not. It is, in fact, counterproductive to get a parent involved. A better accountability partner is a friend or someone you know will not judge you for not doing the thing but will make sure you eventually do it.
One of the best accountability partners you can enlist is a coach. A coach will help you examine why you don’t do the things you want/need to do and will help you find strategies that work for you. If none of the above strategies work for you, it might be time to explore coaching.