Resetting Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
The intense emotions of ADHD can lead to extreme responses when an ADHDer is rejected or perceives that they are being rejected by someone close to them. This has been termed rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) by Doctor William Dodson, an ADHD expert. People with ADHD who experience RSD experience intense emotional responses to rejection, and they find it hard even to describe the intensity of their emotions. When those emotions remain internalized, these feelings can imitate the symptoms of major mood disorders. These symptoms can even escalate to suicide ideation. However, when the feelings are externalized, the result is an explosion of rage. RSD can also lead ADHDers to be hyper-vigilant about avoiding rejection because they expect to be rejected.
My Experience with RSD
If I do not hear from a friend for a while, I begin to doubt that friendship. I start to think that maybe they do not want to be my friend anymore. It can be hard sitting home alone wondering what my friends are doing and why they did not invite me.
This leads me to doubt whether or not I should reach out to them. That would be the logical thing to do. If I miss a friend, I should reach out to them to see if they want to do something with me. However, I do not. I go inwards and let my thoughts swirl about which only reinforces the belief that I am being rejected.
Not only do I perceive rejection where there is not, but I also take real rejection hard. In 2018, I was dumped twice. Both times, the pain was so intense that I just wanted it to stop. My brain could only think of one way to get the pain to stop, but I knew that was not a viable solution. I did not want to hurt myself.
Rejecting RSD
One key way to tame RSD is to recognize that it affects your life. Now that I know I deal with rejection sensitive dysphoria, I can ask myself, “Is this real or imagined?” Because I know my mind can blow things out of proportion, I can re-evaluate what is going on and truly examine what the possibilities are. Usually, I can come up with many reasons why I have not heard from a friend in a while or whatever the situation might be.
In addition, I also see a therapist. This helps me figure out my emotions and defeat any unwarranted thoughts of rejection. When I do get rejected, I can talk my feelings out with someone before they get out of control.