What ADHDers Can Learn from Dear Evan Hansen
Recently, I saw a touring production of the musical Dear Evan Hansen. I enjoyed it, despite not liking the movie version. I thought it would be unique/fun to reflect a bit on what can be learned from this show. I will be basing this off of the stage production, not the movie version of this story, because the stage production is more fresh in my mind. But, I suspect these lessons/reflections could apply to both.
Tell the Truth
The premise of Dear Evan Hansen is based on the titular character telling a bunch of lies. Initially, he tries to tell the truth to the parents of the late Connor Murphy who died by suicide. He tries to tell the Murphys that he was not friends with Connor, but they see their son’s name on the cast Evan is wearing and become convinced he knew them. Instead of continuing to insist he did not know him, he lies to make Connor’s parents feel better. He then continues to lie throughout the entire musical, only telling the truth at the very end when the lie blows up in his face. Evan could have told the truth from the beginning and avoided all of the turmoil he faces throughout the story. However, he lies and lies.
Those of us with ADHD can be prone to lying. Why is not clear. It probably has something to do with impulsivity. Sometimes, it can just be easier to tell a lie about a screwup instead of facing the consequences. Whatever the reason, it is always in our best interest to tell the truth about what is going on and what has happened. No good comes from lying. All you get is stress and worry about being caught in the lie. Plus, you now have the added consequence of having to remember what your story was. It is just better to tell the truth.
Seek Help When Needed
One of the reasons Dear Evan Hansen resonates so much with people today is the theme of mental health. Many people today are struggling with their mental health. Both Connor and Evan could have sought out help with regards to their suicidal tendencies. Instead Connor takes his own life, and prior to the start of the story, Evan attempted to take his own life. Neither one received the help they needed. This is tragic. No one should find themself in a position where suicide seems like the best option.
It can be hard to ask for help, especially when one has ADHD. However, it is necessary. If you are struggling reach out for help. If it is with ADHD or ADHD-like symptoms, seek help from a coach, psychologist, psychiatrist, etc. If you are struggling with mental health problems, seek out a therapist, psychiatrist, etc. for proper treatment. If you need it, the Suicide Hotline is: 988 in the United States.
Listen
Connor’s parents did not listen during the musical. They did not listen to Connor’s pleas for help, not did they listen when Evan initially tried to tell them he was not Connor’s friend. Furthermore, Evan did not listen to the advice of his therapist and write about why today is going to be a good day. It goes poorly for him when he is not listening. At the end of the musical, it is revealed that he is writing about why today will be a good day and that it (along with other supports) is helping.
Now, I know what you are thinking. How can ADHDers listen when they cannot focus? The answer to that is that it is imperative for those with ADHD to continuously strive to be in the moment and to be present when they hear a cry for help or good advice for how to improve their life.
In Conclusion
A lot of what happens in Dear Evan Hansen shows a person what not to do. So, I’m not lifting it up as a paragon of virtue and what people should be doing. There is a lot of unhealthy behavior depicted. But, the themes of the musical resonate in our time. If you get a chance to see it on stage, I would recommend doing so. Live theater is incredible, and this production is especially so.
Once again, if you need it, the suicide hotline is 988.