As much as I hate to admit it, my mom was right about a lot of things, not everything, but a lot of things. Moms are like that. Much of what they are right about are things that are especially important for those of us with ADHD. Here are eight things your mom was probably right about.

We ADHDers tend to have a history of messing up. When you have not yet learned how your brain works best, you mess up a lot. This can lead to a lack of confidence, even in areas where we are naturally gifted. Unfortunately, we become prone to experiencing a great deal of fear, anxiety, and nervousness. However, that does not mean we have to be slaves to this fear. Instead, we can escape its deadly grasp and take back control of our life. This is something I learned through my experience in the theater.

I went to the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, and I feel it is my duty to encourage you all to attend this year’s conference. Trust me. You won’t regret going.

One thing that I have always struggled with is: What is normal? What is it like to not have ADHD? I am always going to have some level of distractibility. Even non-ADHDers do. So, where should I be? When it comes to treating and managing ADHD, am I where I should be? Do I need to be doing more? Do I need to up the dosage of my medication? Do I need to switch medications? Do I need more coping skills? Do I have non-ADHD issues getting in the way of managing my ADHD?

Life with an ADHDer is not always easy, but it is rarely boring. I was reflecting recently about all of the ADHD things I do that will one affect my future wife. I have compiled this list in the hopes that it might inspire you to warn your future spouse about life with you. If you are already married, feel free to enjoy the craziness that follows.

I recently read (okay, listened to the audiobook of) Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by renowned sleep researcher Matthew Walker, PhD. IT. BLEW. MY. MIND. Sleep is crazy important. Because I read that book (okay, listened to that audiobook), I made several changes to my life. My sleep schedule is now quite strict, and I bought a new bed to ensure maximum comfort. In short, I learned that, if you don’t get eight hours of sleep every night, you’re basically screwed.

A common misconception about ADHD is that it causes an impairment with intelligence. This could not be further from the truth. Some ADHDers, myself included, have been told, “You can’t have ADHD; you’re so smart.” The fact of the matter is many people with ADHD are incredibly intelligent. ADHD does not influence one’s intelligence. However, those who are intelligent and have ADHD often go undiagnosed for years.

Those of us with ADHD have terrible working memories. One of the problems this causes for me (and I’m sure many other ADHDers) is remembering people’s names. I am terrible at remembering names. This causes me guilt when people who know my name say hello to me and use my name. I can remember their face and how I know them, but I have no idea what their name is. This is an area where I want to improve, so I did what any millennial would do. I googled how to remember names. This is what I found.

Every year, millions of people stay up until midnight on the night of December 31 to ring in the new year. I have never understood this. I find this quite arbitrary. Prior to midnight, we write "2018" on our checks, and after midnight, we write "2019." If we are celebrating the changing of one element on our calendars, then why are we not doing this every month or every day? One could argue that we celebrate because we only change the year once every 365 days, but if we are simply celebrating the novelty of the changing of the date, it would make more sense to celebrate a new decade.

Part IV covers “The Learning Zone.” All those who are excellent performers in their field have spent and consistently spend plenty of time in the learning zone. Those with a fixed mindset are always in the performance zone. They do not take time to learn and to grow. We need to spend time in both zones. Sadly, many of us neglect the learning zone.

A fixed mindset is easy to spot, especially when you have become aware of it. To remind yourself of what it is like, review part one of this series. When you see the qualities, take notice of them. What effect does this mindset have? How does it affect you? How does it affect others? When you see it in action, remind yourself that you want to foster a growth mindset, not what you are observing. Be sure to take note of both when you are acting with a fixed mindset and when others are using it.

Growth mindset focus on learning, not results. If students focus on improving and learning, their grades will go up. The focus is on learning the information, not simply doing well enough to get the grade that will make their teachers and parents happy. The improvement in academic performance is especially useful in subjects, like math, that build on previous material. Instead of struggling as more and more as topics build on previous topics and having to go back and relearn some material, the student will be ready for the next subject, having already mastered the previous topics.

At the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, one of the keynote speakers (Eduardo Briceño) gave a presentation on growth mindsets. I was blown away by this talk and was inspired to write a four-part series of blog posts on the subject. This first post is simply defining what a growth mindset is.

We all have stories about our lives. There are good stories and bad stories. But, what determines whether or not a story is good or bad? We do. We have the choice to make a story good or bad. The stories in our past that we view as negative, perhaps, just need to be seen in a different light.