One of the hardest parts about living with ADHD is dealing with the ramifications of when things go awry. We quite often find ourselves not where we want to be. This is frustrating and can lead to negative self-talk. This can quickly devolve into a harsh relationship with oneself. When we are constantly berating ourselves, we begin to internalize the messages we are receiving. How we break out of this vicious cycle is not easy and seems overly simplistic, but it can be done.

You have freedom. You have the freedom to live the life you want to live. It is up to you to decide how you live your life, but it will not be easy. The world is not wired for ADHD brains. You have to work for your right to have the life that will support you. It is up to you to achieve your ideal life. Here are some tips for living and creating the life you desire.

What is Reset ADHD? Reset ADHD is owned and operated by Alex R. Hey, PCAC (AKA me). It is first and foremost an ADHD coaching practice. I do write blogs, but my main focus is coaching. In this blog post I hope to describe what makes coaching with Reset ADHD unique.

Are you looking for an ADHD coach? Are you worried that all coaches are the same? I assure you we are not. We are all unique. Some coaches make you check in with them every day; I do not. Some will talk a lot; others (myself included) will hold plenty of space for you to think, process, and speak.

Those of us with ADHD can be pulled in many different directions. We find a lot of things interesting. Some become lifelong obsessions. Others fade away quickly. How can we tell what will stay in our lives and what will fade away? It is not easy, and this can be especially frustrating when it comes to determining what we want to be when we grow up. So, what can be done to figure out what one needs to know in order to pick a career?

It is important to identify your needs as an ADHDer. The world will not identify them for you, and even if the world does identify “needs,” they may not be your specific needs. We are all different and have different needs, so what is needed for one person may not be needed for you. You need to identify your specific needs in order to live a fulfilling life.

When I was in junior high and high school, I wanted desperately to fit in. So, what did I do? I did what I thought was expected of me. I said the things I thought I was supposed to say. I acted the way I thought others wanted me to act. Did it work? No. I had very few friends in junior high and high school. I bounced around from friend group to friend group, not really feeling comfortable anywhere. By the time high school ended, I felt alone and desperately wanted a new start.

Growing up, I always felt different, and I could never put my finger on why. It was not until I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 20 that I began to understand why I was the way I was. This realization has explained why I always felt different.

What should I do with my life? In what hobbies should I engage? How will I live my life?

The above questions are important questions that everyone needs to ask themselves. If you want to live a happy, fulfilling life, find the gifts God gave you and use them to the best of your ability.

Life with an ADHDer is not always easy, but it is rarely boring. I was reflecting recently about all of the ADHD things I do that will one affect my future wife. I have compiled this list in the hopes that it might inspire you to warn your future spouse about life with you. If you are already married, feel free to enjoy the craziness that follows.

One day, during my Freshman year of high school, one of my teachers pointed out in front of the class that I had a weird sense of humor. “Yeah, but I’m not the only one,” I responded.

He doubled down. “Yeah, but yours is way out there.” At that moment, the conversation went from playful to isolating. I acknowledged that I had a bizarre sense of humor, but he went further and made me feel different. And, this teacher was a family friend! My sense of humor started to become a source of shame. I tried to hide the more bizarre side of my sense of humor, only sharing the humorous side that I knew others would appreciate.

One of the best ways for a person with ADHD to stay focused and be productive is to carefully choose the environment in which they operate. What do you need to succeed in each setting for each situation? You might need one thing while working and another while reading a book. Here are some things to think about when deciding on your ideal environments.

Every year, millions of people stay up until midnight on the night of December 31 to ring in the new year. I have never understood this. I find this quite arbitrary. Prior to midnight, we write "2018" on our checks, and after midnight, we write "2019." If we are celebrating the changing of one element on our calendars, then why are we not doing this every month or every day? One could argue that we celebrate because we only change the year once every 365 days, but if we are simply celebrating the novelty of the changing of the date, it would make more sense to celebrate a new decade.

Part IV covers “The Learning Zone.” All those who are excellent performers in their field have spent and consistently spend plenty of time in the learning zone. Those with a fixed mindset are always in the performance zone. They do not take time to learn and to grow. We need to spend time in both zones. Sadly, many of us neglect the learning zone.

A fixed mindset is easy to spot, especially when you have become aware of it. To remind yourself of what it is like, review part one of this series. When you see the qualities, take notice of them. What effect does this mindset have? How does it affect you? How does it affect others? When you see it in action, remind yourself that you want to foster a growth mindset, not what you are observing. Be sure to take note of both when you are acting with a fixed mindset and when others are using it.

Growth mindset focus on learning, not results. If students focus on improving and learning, their grades will go up. The focus is on learning the information, not simply doing well enough to get the grade that will make their teachers and parents happy. The improvement in academic performance is especially useful in subjects, like math, that build on previous material. Instead of struggling as more and more as topics build on previous topics and having to go back and relearn some material, the student will be ready for the next subject, having already mastered the previous topics.

At the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, one of the keynote speakers (Eduardo Briceño) gave a presentation on growth mindsets. I was blown away by this talk and was inspired to write a four-part series of blog posts on the subject. This first post is simply defining what a growth mindset is.

Those of us with ADHD have vivid imaginations. We have a crazy amount of ideas and are prone to thinking differently. Our imaginations are powerful, but is this power good or bad? That is a question worth exploring. People believe Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison had ADHD. One of the reasons for this belief is that they were incredibly inventive. They thought outside of the box.

It occurred to me just now that it might behoove me to tell you all about myself in order to make these blog posts more real, to show you there is a real person saying all of these things. It is stuff I try to do in my own life (the key word there being try). So, to humanize myself and to satisfy curious minds here are some facts about me.

To some, it may seem like ADHD and introversion are opposites. ADHD is associated with a lot of extroverted behaviors. However, it is important to remember that introversion is about recharging when alone and not around other people. Introverts can be outgoing, while still needing that alone time. In fact, a 2017 study of 117 people with ADHD found that 58.1% of them were introverts. Therefore, it is, indeed, possible to be an introvert and have ADHD.