The summer before my junior year of high school, I was forced to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain for the AP English class I would be taking that school year. I hated these summer reading assignments, but this one I actually enjoyed. Twain’s writing style and the story intrigued me.

One of the parts I enjoyed the most was Tom Sawyer’s sudden arrival into the story. When Tom Sawyer arrives, he and Huckleberry Finn get into all sorts of mischief, mayhem, and adventures.

How often do you say you're sorry? It is important to apologize when we have wronged someone, but sometimes, we can over-apologize. That places others’ needs ahead of your own. If we continuously sacrifice our needs for the desires of others, we do ourselves a huge disservice. Here are a few things for which you definitely should not apologize.

Whether you are managing ADHD or fighting some other battle, you can sometimes feel like you are climbing a mountain. Climbing a mountain is daunting and takes hard work, as does battling ADHD. If you are on a mountain, there are some things you should know.

I do not write comedy. I don’t ever sit down to write a funny story or a stand up comedy routine. However, I am funny. I did improv in college, and I have been known to make funny comments in conversation. Yet, I cannot write comedy. I have found that, when I try to be funny, the humor is ruined. I am more funny when I let myself be in the moment, when I’m not trying to think of something clever to say.

What should I do with my life? In what hobbies should I engage? How will I live my life?

The above questions are important questions that everyone needs to ask themselves. If you want to live a happy, fulfilling life, find the gifts God gave you and use them to the best of your ability.

We ADHDers tend to have a history of messing up. When you have not yet learned how your brain works best, you mess up a lot. This can lead to a lack of confidence, even in areas where we are naturally gifted. Unfortunately, we become prone to experiencing a great deal of fear, anxiety, and nervousness. However, that does not mean we have to be slaves to this fear. Instead, we can escape its deadly grasp and take back control of our life. This is something I learned through my experience in the theater.

I write these words on the afternoon of March 25, 2019. I have just returned from watching a performance of Me…Jane: The Dreams and Adventures of Young Jane Goodall (which is based on the book Me…Jane by Patrick McDonnell which is based on the life of Jane Goodall). I loved it (and not just because my sister-in-law played the lead). In fact, I cried. More than once! This silly kids show made me cry. Therefore, I thought I would share what I found so moving about this story and what I think we ADHDers can learn from this story.

One day, during my Freshman year of high school, one of my teachers pointed out in front of the class that I had a weird sense of humor. “Yeah, but I’m not the only one,” I responded.

He doubled down. “Yeah, but yours is way out there.” At that moment, the conversation went from playful to isolating. I acknowledged that I had a bizarre sense of humor, but he went further and made me feel different. And, this teacher was a family friend! My sense of humor started to become a source of shame. I tried to hide the more bizarre side of my sense of humor, only sharing the humorous side that I knew others would appreciate.

Our culture places individual achievement on a high pedestal. Those one-man armies are revered for their accomplishments, but oftentimes, what you do not hear about is all of those who have helped those people get where they are. The phrase “no man is an island” is old but still very much true.

There are plenty if times where those of us with ADHD do not win. ADHDers need wins, or life will get miserable. Not winning sucks.

SO….you’re probably wondering, “How does one start winning when ADHD makes life so hard?” Good question. Now, I normally give multiple pieces of advice or several steps of one piece of advice in my blogs, but to answer today’s question, I only need to say one thing…

The challenges ADHD causes are not because you are broken. They are the result of a world that is not wired for brains that are wired differently. ADHD is a different brain wiring; it is not a defective brain wiring. You have a good brain. You are not broken.

Who wants to go through life with every day being a grind? No one! Who wants any part of life to be a grind? No one! So, why, then, do we do things we find to be a grind? Because we let the things we do become a grind. Everyone has things in their life that are a grind. However, we do not simply have to accept these things as a grind. We can find a way to gamify these tasks and make them fun.

One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting. It is a movie I first watched during a difficult time in my life, and it is one I return to in times of great trial or transition. I feel there are many life lessons that can be learned from this movie, and I especially feel that ADHDers can learn from this film. If you have not seen it, I recommend you watch it because it is a good movie and this blog post will make more sense if you have seen it.

ADHD wreaks all sorts of havoc in the lives of those of us with ADHD. It is easy for the ADHD brain to get overwhelmed. One of the most devastating things that can happen is swirling thoughts. Any of the many struggles an ADHDer faces can lead to these thoughts. We see something that is not going the way we desire, and we become upset by it. We feel a need to fix it and begin searching for a way to do that. However, our minds are not thinking clearly.

One reason parents are often resistant to getting their child tested for ADHD is the fear that their child will be given a label. This is tragic. The ADHD label is not something to be feared. It is not a negative. Yes, there are struggles that come with ADHD, but the label itself does not doom an individual. On the contrary, seeking an ADHD diagnosis can be beneficial.

If there is any trait all people with ADHD need to cultivate within themselves, it is perseverance. ADHD wreaks havoc in all areas of an ADHDer’s life. This causes many struggles in many areas. In short, more often than not, things will not go the way an ADHDer wants them to go. What is needed in those times of struggle is perseverance, the ability to keep moving forward despite setbacks.

When you have ADHD, it is easy to feel bad about yourself. You hear a lot of corrective and critical statements. After hearing enough of those, you begin to internalize them. You begin to feel like you are not enough, and shame creeps into your life.

However, it is important to break free from this pattern of self-shaming. You are not broken. You are who you were created to be. I know it can be easy to feel shame about having ADHD, but you need to fight that temptation. Here are a few suggestions to break free of the shame.

Every year, millions of people stay up until midnight on the night of December 31 to ring in the new year. I have never understood this. I find this quite arbitrary. Prior to midnight, we write "2018" on our checks, and after midnight, we write "2019." If we are celebrating the changing of one element on our calendars, then why are we not doing this every month or every day? One could argue that we celebrate because we only change the year once every 365 days, but if we are simply celebrating the novelty of the changing of the date, it would make more sense to celebrate a new decade.