On the hit TV show How I Met Your Mother, the character Barney Stinson only has one rule (which isn’t true he has several “only one rules”): New is always better. Ordinarily, I would not recommend taking life advice from Barney Stinson, but if you have ADHD, new actually is always better.

I recently read (okay, listened to the audiobook of) Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by renowned sleep researcher Matthew Walker, PhD. IT. BLEW. MY. MIND. Sleep is crazy important. Because I read that book (okay, listened to that audiobook), I made several changes to my life. My sleep schedule is now quite strict, and I bought a new bed to ensure maximum comfort. In short, I learned that, if you don’t get eight hours of sleep every night, you’re basically screwed.

Curious about coaching? What sort of questions do you have about coaching? Do any of the following questions match the questions you have?

When should a person seek out a coach? What types of people get a coach? Why should you get a coach?

To answer some of these questions, I have complied a list of reasons to get a coach.

Hello. My name is Alex. I am 25 years old, and I am terrified of being rejected. It is natural to not want to be rejected, but I am legitimately afraid of rejection. What makes this worse is the fact that I expect to be rejected.

Like many people with ADHD, I suffer from rejection sensitive dysphoria. This is my story and how it has affected me. 

At the 2018 International Conference on ADHD in November, I won a Revibe Connect device. A Revibe Connect is like a fitness tracker, but this device is for your focus. You wear a watch-like device and every so often it prompts you tap on it to let it know if you are focused on what you should be or not. I was excited to try it. Unfortunately, I was less enthusiastic about it after I started using it.

A common misconception about ADHD is that it causes an impairment with intelligence. This could not be further from the truth. Some ADHDers, myself included, have been told, “You can’t have ADHD; you’re so smart.” The fact of the matter is many people with ADHD are incredibly intelligent. ADHD does not influence one’s intelligence. However, those who are intelligent and have ADHD often go undiagnosed for years.

The other day, I attended a dinner party and stayed later than I had intended. This led to me being tired the next day. I have been trying to get more sleep, so not only was I tired, but I was also disappointed in myself for staying out so late. This is a problem, and I’m sure I’m not the only ADHDer who struggles with this.

When you are diagnosed, you are not handed a piece of paper with instructions on how to live the perfect life with ADHD. There is no guide detailing a sure-fire way to avoid the struggles of ADHD. The ugly truth of the matter is there is no owner’s manual for ADHD.

One reason parents are often resistant to getting their child tested for ADHD is the fear that their child will be given a label. This is tragic. The ADHD label is not something to be feared. It is not a negative. Yes, there are struggles that come with ADHD, but the label itself does not doom an individual. On the contrary, seeking an ADHD diagnosis can be beneficial.

Last month, I attended the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, and one of our keynote speakers presented some startling statistics. Doctor Russell Barkley, the leading researcher on ADHD, and his colleagues recently conducted a study that showed that ADHD reduces one’s life expectancy by 13 years, and if the DBH Taq1 gene or the DAT1 gene is present, it is a 20-year drop in life expectancy. These numbers should startle you. This is a greater reduction in life expectancy than there is for smoking, excessive alcohol use, obesity, and coronary heart disease.

Part IV covers “The Learning Zone.” All those who are excellent performers in their field have spent and consistently spend plenty of time in the learning zone. Those with a fixed mindset are always in the performance zone. They do not take time to learn and to grow. We need to spend time in both zones. Sadly, many of us neglect the learning zone.

A fixed mindset is easy to spot, especially when you have become aware of it. To remind yourself of what it is like, review part one of this series. When you see the qualities, take notice of them. What effect does this mindset have? How does it affect you? How does it affect others? When you see it in action, remind yourself that you want to foster a growth mindset, not what you are observing. Be sure to take note of both when you are acting with a fixed mindset and when others are using it.

Growth mindset focus on learning, not results. If students focus on improving and learning, their grades will go up. The focus is on learning the information, not simply doing well enough to get the grade that will make their teachers and parents happy. The improvement in academic performance is especially useful in subjects, like math, that build on previous material. Instead of struggling as more and more as topics build on previous topics and having to go back and relearn some material, the student will be ready for the next subject, having already mastered the previous topics.

At the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, one of the keynote speakers (Eduardo Briceño) gave a presentation on growth mindsets. I was blown away by this talk and was inspired to write a four-part series of blog posts on the subject. This first post is simply defining what a growth mindset is.

November 25, 2018 marks 12 years since my friend Ian died. Ian and I sat next to each other in band class 7th and the first part of 8th grade. Ian played the trombone, and I pretended to play the trombone. Ian loved music and was probably too talented to play in the junior high band. I hated band and did not want to be there. Because Ian did not need to try very hard and I did not want to try, we often goofed around. Our favorite way to amuse ourselves was to quote Monty Python, and yes, we used British accents while doing so

“Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast,” or so the old saying goes. There’s an element of truth to that. Music can affect our mental state. If we find the right uplifting songs, we can use music to calm our brains or relax, two things ADHDers could use from time to time.

Marijuana is being legalized in some areas for both medicinal and recreational purposes. There is some debate on the internet about whether or not it should be used in an ADHD management plan. I was recently asked on Facebook what my thoughts were about marijuana use for those with ADHD. To be honest, I had never considered it much. It is not legal where I live (South Dakota), so I have never desired to use it or whether or not it could help with my ADHD. That does not mean it is something that is not important to discuss, however. It appears as though marijuana will continue to be legalized in many places, and it remains to be seen what the long-term implications of legalization will be.

Reset ADHD offers ADHD coaching via Skype or in-person (for those in the Sioux Falls, SD-area). Have you ever considered ADHD coaching? Do you want to know more about why I think it is an important tool for those with ADHD?

Those of us with ADHD have vivid imaginations. We have a crazy amount of ideas and are prone to thinking differently. Our imaginations are powerful, but is this power good or bad? That is a question worth exploring. People believe Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison had ADHD. One of the reasons for this belief is that they were incredibly inventive. They thought outside of the box.

First of all, I am not a doctor, so I am not an expert on medication. All medication decisions must be made under the supervision of a doctor. Having said that, though, many doctors do not know much about ADHD. It can be helpful to research medication options before talking to your doctor. I hope my comments help as a starting point in your research.