When you are diagnosed, you are not handed a piece of paper with instructions on how to live the perfect life with ADHD. There is no guide detailing a sure-fire way to avoid the struggles of ADHD. The ugly truth of the matter is there is no owner’s manual for ADHD.

ADHD wreaks all sorts of havoc in the lives of those of us with ADHD. It is easy for the ADHD brain to get overwhelmed. One of the most devastating things that can happen is swirling thoughts. Any of the many struggles an ADHDer faces can lead to these thoughts. We see something that is not going the way we desire, and we become upset by it. We feel a need to fix it and begin searching for a way to do that. However, our minds are not thinking clearly.

ADHDers are prone to perfectionism. This can cause all sorts of problems. One might never complete a project because one can never get it just right, or on the flip side, one might never start a project unless one is sure one will be able to do it exactly right. Both of these mindsets are toxic. Furthermore, perfectionism is time consuming. If one is constantly trying to get everything just right, one will never have time to do all of the things one needs to do. All of the problems surrounding perfectionism can be solved by embracing one simple idea: Good is good enough.

Those of us with ADHD have terrible working memories. One of the problems this causes for me (and I’m sure many other ADHDers) is remembering people’s names. I am terrible at remembering names. This causes me guilt when people who know my name say hello to me and use my name. I can remember their face and how I know them, but I have no idea what their name is. This is an area where I want to improve, so I did what any millennial would do. I googled how to remember names. This is what I found.

When you have ADHD, it is easy to feel bad about yourself. You hear a lot of corrective and critical statements. After hearing enough of those, you begin to internalize them. You begin to feel like you are not enough, and shame creeps into your life.

However, it is important to break free from this pattern of self-shaming. You are not broken. You are who you were created to be. I know it can be easy to feel shame about having ADHD, but you need to fight that temptation. Here are a few suggestions to break free of the shame.

Part IV covers “The Learning Zone.” All those who are excellent performers in their field have spent and consistently spend plenty of time in the learning zone. Those with a fixed mindset are always in the performance zone. They do not take time to learn and to grow. We need to spend time in both zones. Sadly, many of us neglect the learning zone.

A fixed mindset is easy to spot, especially when you have become aware of it. To remind yourself of what it is like, review part one of this series. When you see the qualities, take notice of them. What effect does this mindset have? How does it affect you? How does it affect others? When you see it in action, remind yourself that you want to foster a growth mindset, not what you are observing. Be sure to take note of both when you are acting with a fixed mindset and when others are using it.

We all have stories about our lives. There are good stories and bad stories. But, what determines whether or not a story is good or bad? We do. We have the choice to make a story good or bad. The stories in our past that we view as negative, perhaps, just need to be seen in a different light.

“Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast,” or so the old saying goes. There’s an element of truth to that. Music can affect our mental state. If we find the right uplifting songs, we can use music to calm our brains or relax, two things ADHDers could use from time to time.

Marijuana is being legalized in some areas for both medicinal and recreational purposes. There is some debate on the internet about whether or not it should be used in an ADHD management plan. I was recently asked on Facebook what my thoughts were about marijuana use for those with ADHD. To be honest, I had never considered it much. It is not legal where I live (South Dakota), so I have never desired to use it or whether or not it could help with my ADHD. That does not mean it is something that is not important to discuss, however. It appears as though marijuana will continue to be legalized in many places, and it remains to be seen what the long-term implications of legalization will be.

Reset ADHD offers ADHD coaching via Skype or in-person (for those in the Sioux Falls, SD-area). Have you ever considered ADHD coaching? Do you want to know more about why I think it is an important tool for those with ADHD?

Those of us with ADHD have vivid imaginations. We have a crazy amount of ideas and are prone to thinking differently. Our imaginations are powerful, but is this power good or bad? That is a question worth exploring. People believe Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison had ADHD. One of the reasons for this belief is that they were incredibly inventive. They thought outside of the box.

A common suggestion for productivity assistance for ADHDers is using a timer. This is often suggested for time management purposes, but I see two different ways this could help the productivity of an ADHDer. The first is the aforementioned most common explanation given for suggesting the use a timer, and the other one is a way it has been used in my own life. These two methods use opposite functions of a timer, counting down and counting up.

When a person struggles with hyperactivity, impulsivity, inattention, and executive functions, they will struggle in their spiritual life. There are very little resources avail even addressing how to manage one’s spiritual life when one has ADHD. It has been my observation that very few, if any, faith leaders (priests, pastors, rabbis, imams, etc.) offer guidance on managing ADHD and one’s spiritual life. Therefore, I offer this challenge to faith leaders of all religious backgrounds: Research ADHD and how you can minister to those members of your flock who have ADHD.

Our society places high regard on individual effort. We are expected to work hard and show no weaknesses. However, we are social beings. We need others. When life gets tough, there is no shame in seeking the support of others. In fact, it is the smart thing to do.

One of the saddest facts about ADHD is that it increase the likelihood a person will commit a crime. That is not to say that everyone with ADHD will become a criminal. Many people with ADHD do not commit crimes, but there is an increase likelihood of criminal behaviors in persons with ADHD.

There are several areas in which to examine a connection between crime and ADHD: How prevalent is crime among those with ADHD, why ADHDers are more prone to commit crimes than others, and how to prevent ADHDers from committing crimes.

I was once catching up with an acquaintance I had not seen in a long time, and it came up in conversation that I have ADHD. She had never known that about me and had never really had ADHD explained to her before. She asked, “ So, what is that like fo you? Like, how does that feel?” I hesitated and did not really know what to say. Of course, I know what it is like to have ADHD. I have it; I know what it is like. But, when it comes to explaining it, especially to someone who has no concept of what it is like, it is incredibly difficult. Furthermore, I do not know what normal is. How do I even know I am covering everything? Even though I have been diagnosed with ADHD for over 5 years, I am still finding out new things about ADHD that make me go, “Oh," that is why I do that weird thing!”

Richard Simmons spent decades helping people get in shape and lose weight. His flamboyant style and compassion brought him great fame. Although he has not made a public appearance since 2014, his legacy endures, and it is applicable to ADHDers.

Exercise is one of the most common “alternative treatments” for ADHD bandied about on the internet. At first glance, it might seem weird that this would be promoted for ADHD. How would going for a run help one’s ability to concentrate? However, this issue is not without at least some scientific backing.

Knowledge is power, and it is even more powerful when it is self-knowledge. One of the best things you can do to manage ADHD and improve your life is to know yourself better. Self-exploration is something everyone should do, regardless of whether they have ADHD or not. When you know yourself and your needs, you are better able to articulate what you need from others. This takes time, but it is well worth it.