When you have ADHD, it is easy to feel bad about yourself. You hear a lot of corrective and critical statements. After hearing enough of those, you begin to internalize them. You begin to feel like you are not enough, and shame creeps into your life.

However, it is important to break free from this pattern of self-shaming. You are not broken. You are who you were created to be. I know it can be easy to feel shame about having ADHD, but you need to fight that temptation. Here are a few suggestions to break free of the shame.

Every year, millions of people stay up until midnight on the night of December 31 to ring in the new year. I have never understood this. I find this quite arbitrary. Prior to midnight, we write "2018" on our checks, and after midnight, we write "2019." If we are celebrating the changing of one element on our calendars, then why are we not doing this every month or every day? One could argue that we celebrate because we only change the year once every 365 days, but if we are simply celebrating the novelty of the changing of the date, it would make more sense to celebrate a new decade.

Part IV covers “The Learning Zone.” All those who are excellent performers in their field have spent and consistently spend plenty of time in the learning zone. Those with a fixed mindset are always in the performance zone. They do not take time to learn and to grow. We need to spend time in both zones. Sadly, many of us neglect the learning zone.

A fixed mindset is easy to spot, especially when you have become aware of it. To remind yourself of what it is like, review part one of this series. When you see the qualities, take notice of them. What effect does this mindset have? How does it affect you? How does it affect others? When you see it in action, remind yourself that you want to foster a growth mindset, not what you are observing. Be sure to take note of both when you are acting with a fixed mindset and when others are using it.

Growth mindset focus on learning, not results. If students focus on improving and learning, their grades will go up. The focus is on learning the information, not simply doing well enough to get the grade that will make their teachers and parents happy. The improvement in academic performance is especially useful in subjects, like math, that build on previous material. Instead of struggling as more and more as topics build on previous topics and having to go back and relearn some material, the student will be ready for the next subject, having already mastered the previous topics.

At the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, one of the keynote speakers (Eduardo Briceño) gave a presentation on growth mindsets. I was blown away by this talk and was inspired to write a four-part series of blog posts on the subject. This first post is simply defining what a growth mindset is.

November 25, 2018 marks 12 years since my friend Ian died. Ian and I sat next to each other in band class 7th and the first part of 8th grade. Ian played the trombone, and I pretended to play the trombone. Ian loved music and was probably too talented to play in the junior high band. I hated band and did not want to be there. Because Ian did not need to try very hard and I did not want to try, we often goofed around. Our favorite way to amuse ourselves was to quote Monty Python, and yes, we used British accents while doing so

We all have stories about our lives. There are good stories and bad stories. But, what determines whether or not a story is good or bad? We do. We have the choice to make a story good or bad. The stories in our past that we view as negative, perhaps, just need to be seen in a different light.

I have a powerful example of what hitting the reset button looks like, and this example comes from my own life. I did not hit the reset button on my ADHD, however. I hit the reset button on my life. Let a poem I performed at the 2018 International Conference on ADHD explain…

“Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast,” or so the old saying goes. There’s an element of truth to that. Music can affect our mental state. If we find the right uplifting songs, we can use music to calm our brains or relax, two things ADHDers could use from time to time.

Marijuana is being legalized in some areas for both medicinal and recreational purposes. There is some debate on the internet about whether or not it should be used in an ADHD management plan. I was recently asked on Facebook what my thoughts were about marijuana use for those with ADHD. To be honest, I had never considered it much. It is not legal where I live (South Dakota), so I have never desired to use it or whether or not it could help with my ADHD. That does not mean it is something that is not important to discuss, however. It appears as though marijuana will continue to be legalized in many places, and it remains to be seen what the long-term implications of legalization will be.

Those of us with ADHD have trouble living successful lives. Task initiation is hard. When we do get our projects started, we cannot finish them. Impulsivity makes us say and do things that get us into trouble. Focusing is basically impossible. We’re hyper. Regulating our emotions is a struggle. We have no sense of time. Sometimes, we cannot even explain what is going on inside our own heads.

Reset ADHD offers ADHD coaching via Skype or in-person (for those in the Sioux Falls, SD-area). Have you ever considered ADHD coaching? Do you want to know more about why I think it is an important tool for those with ADHD?

Those of us with ADHD have vivid imaginations. We have a crazy amount of ideas and are prone to thinking differently. Our imaginations are powerful, but is this power good or bad? That is a question worth exploring. People believe Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison had ADHD. One of the reasons for this belief is that they were incredibly inventive. They thought outside of the box.

First of all, I am not a doctor, so I am not an expert on medication. All medication decisions must be made under the supervision of a doctor. Having said that, though, many doctors do not know much about ADHD. It can be helpful to research medication options before talking to your doctor. I hope my comments help as a starting point in your research.

A common suggestion for productivity assistance for ADHDers is using a timer. This is often suggested for time management purposes, but I see two different ways this could help the productivity of an ADHDer. The first is the aforementioned most common explanation given for suggesting the use a timer, and the other one is a way it has been used in my own life. These two methods use opposite functions of a timer, counting down and counting up.

When a person struggles with hyperactivity, impulsivity, inattention, and executive functions, they will struggle in their spiritual life. There are very little resources avail even addressing how to manage one’s spiritual life when one has ADHD. It has been my observation that very few, if any, faith leaders (priests, pastors, rabbis, imams, etc.) offer guidance on managing ADHD and one’s spiritual life. Therefore, I offer this challenge to faith leaders of all religious backgrounds: Research ADHD and how you can minister to those members of your flock who have ADHD.

It occurred to me just now that it might behoove me to tell you all about myself in order to make these blog posts more real, to show you there is a real person saying all of these things. It is stuff I try to do in my own life (the key word there being try). So, to humanize myself and to satisfy curious minds here are some facts about me.

Our society places high regard on individual effort. We are expected to work hard and show no weaknesses. However, we are social beings. We need others. When life gets tough, there is no shame in seeking the support of others. In fact, it is the smart thing to do.

One of the saddest facts about ADHD is that it increase the likelihood a person will commit a crime. That is not to say that everyone with ADHD will become a criminal. Many people with ADHD do not commit crimes, but there is an increase likelihood of criminal behaviors in persons with ADHD.

There are several areas in which to examine a connection between crime and ADHD: How prevalent is crime among those with ADHD, why ADHDers are more prone to commit crimes than others, and how to prevent ADHDers from committing crimes.