Welcome to BOREDOM BUSTER! This is a new series of blog posts that I am introducing to help you find ways of getting rid of the boredom of certain mundane tasks to which ADHD brains have an aversion. How often will these BOREDOM BUSTER posts come out? I have no idea. Don’t expect them with any regularity.

Curious about coaching? What sort of questions do you have about coaching? Do any of the following questions match the questions you have?

When should a person seek out a coach? What types of people get a coach? Why should you get a coach?

To answer some of these questions, I have complied a list of reasons to get a coach.

Those of us with ADHD defy the norm quite often. Our natural way of doing things works for us, but it is not the way everyone else does things. Because our natural abilities are so different, we get programmed at a young age to not do things the way that is easiest for us. We get pressured into doing things the way everyone else does. This is not good. It does not allow us to accomplish what we otherwise could because we are forced to things in the same manner as everyone else. We need to be free to live by our own owner’s manual.

There are plenty if times where those of us with ADHD do not win. ADHDers need wins, or life will get miserable. Not winning sucks.

SO….you’re probably wondering, “How does one start winning when ADHD makes life so hard?” Good question. Now, I normally give multiple pieces of advice or several steps of one piece of advice in my blogs, but to answer today’s question, I only need to say one thing…

Hello. My name is Alex. I am 25 years old, and I am terrified of being rejected. It is natural to not want to be rejected, but I am legitimately afraid of rejection. What makes this worse is the fact that I expect to be rejected.

Like many people with ADHD, I suffer from rejection sensitive dysphoria. This is my story and how it has affected me. 

The challenges ADHD causes are not because you are broken. They are the result of a world that is not wired for brains that are wired differently. ADHD is a different brain wiring; it is not a defective brain wiring. You have a good brain. You are not broken.

At the 2018 International Conference on ADHD in November, I won a Revibe Connect device. A Revibe Connect is like a fitness tracker, but this device is for your focus. You wear a watch-like device and every so often it prompts you tap on it to let it know if you are focused on what you should be or not. I was excited to try it. Unfortunately, I was less enthusiastic about it after I started using it.

In the 1993 movie Groundhog Day, Phil Connors (Bill Murray) is stuck reliving the same day over and over again. This movie is hilarious, and I highly recommend it. However, it might cause some uneasy comparisons for some of us with ADHD. Sometimes, we can get stuck in a negative cycle of the same patterns or behaviors that do not serve us.

Who wants to go through life with every day being a grind? No one! Who wants any part of life to be a grind? No one! So, why, then, do we do things we find to be a grind? Because we let the things we do become a grind. Everyone has things in their life that are a grind. However, we do not simply have to accept these things as a grind. We can find a way to gamify these tasks and make them fun.

A common misconception about ADHD is that it causes an impairment with intelligence. This could not be further from the truth. Some ADHDers, myself included, have been told, “You can’t have ADHD; you’re so smart.” The fact of the matter is many people with ADHD are incredibly intelligent. ADHD does not influence one’s intelligence. However, those who are intelligent and have ADHD often go undiagnosed for years.

Hello!

I write this while crouched like an owl on my chair, instead of sitting at my desk like a normal person. Why am I owling as I write this? Well, I am dealing with writer’s block, and I need to have a post ready to go by Monday at 10:45 AM. It is 11:45 AM on Friday currently, and I refuse to work on Sundays. So, as Daffy Duck says in Space Jam, “It’s gut check time.” Something needs to happen, and sometimes, if one wants something to happen, one must change what one is doing. Sometimes, changing things up can bring the focus needed to complete a project. Hence, owling…

The other day, I attended a dinner party and stayed later than I had intended. This led to me being tired the next day. I have been trying to get more sleep, so not only was I tired, but I was also disappointed in myself for staying out so late. This is a problem, and I’m sure I’m not the only ADHDer who struggles with this.

One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting. It is a movie I first watched during a difficult time in my life, and it is one I return to in times of great trial or transition. I feel there are many life lessons that can be learned from this movie, and I especially feel that ADHDers can learn from this film. If you have not seen it, I recommend you watch it because it is a good movie and this blog post will make more sense if you have seen it.

When you are diagnosed, you are not handed a piece of paper with instructions on how to live the perfect life with ADHD. There is no guide detailing a sure-fire way to avoid the struggles of ADHD. The ugly truth of the matter is there is no owner’s manual for ADHD.

ADHD wreaks all sorts of havoc in the lives of those of us with ADHD. It is easy for the ADHD brain to get overwhelmed. One of the most devastating things that can happen is swirling thoughts. Any of the many struggles an ADHDer faces can lead to these thoughts. We see something that is not going the way we desire, and we become upset by it. We feel a need to fix it and begin searching for a way to do that. However, our minds are not thinking clearly.

ADHDers are prone to perfectionism. This can cause all sorts of problems. One might never complete a project because one can never get it just right, or on the flip side, one might never start a project unless one is sure one will be able to do it exactly right. Both of these mindsets are toxic. Furthermore, perfectionism is time consuming. If one is constantly trying to get everything just right, one will never have time to do all of the things one needs to do. All of the problems surrounding perfectionism can be solved by embracing one simple idea: Good is good enough.

Those of us with ADHD have terrible working memories. One of the problems this causes for me (and I’m sure many other ADHDers) is remembering people’s names. I am terrible at remembering names. This causes me guilt when people who know my name say hello to me and use my name. I can remember their face and how I know them, but I have no idea what their name is. This is an area where I want to improve, so I did what any millennial would do. I googled how to remember names. This is what I found.

One reason parents are often resistant to getting their child tested for ADHD is the fear that their child will be given a label. This is tragic. The ADHD label is not something to be feared. It is not a negative. Yes, there are struggles that come with ADHD, but the label itself does not doom an individual. On the contrary, seeking an ADHD diagnosis can be beneficial.

Last month, I attended the 2018 International Conference on ADHD, and one of our keynote speakers presented some startling statistics. Doctor Russell Barkley, the leading researcher on ADHD, and his colleagues recently conducted a study that showed that ADHD reduces one’s life expectancy by 13 years, and if the DBH Taq1 gene or the DAT1 gene is present, it is a 20-year drop in life expectancy. These numbers should startle you. This is a greater reduction in life expectancy than there is for smoking, excessive alcohol use, obesity, and coronary heart disease.

If there is any trait all people with ADHD need to cultivate within themselves, it is perseverance. ADHD wreaks havoc in all areas of an ADHDer’s life. This causes many struggles in many areas. In short, more often than not, things will not go the way an ADHDer wants them to go. What is needed in those times of struggle is perseverance, the ability to keep moving forward despite setbacks.