When I was younger, I could never fall asleep in a timely manner at night, no matter how tired I was. I would lie on my bed with thoughts swirling around my head, unable to calm them down and lull myself to sleep. For me, nighttime has always been a time to think, especially about serious topics. It may be due to my ADHD or the fact that, at a young age, I had to deal with the very adult situation of my parents’ divorce.

In 2019, I wrote a blog post entitled “5 Things Every ADHDer Should Know to Avoid Despair.” In it, I listed 5 things to remember to help maintain a positive mindset. I would like to add 5 more to the list and inspire some hope.

ADHDers are prone to perfectionism. This can wreck our productivity. We sometimes feel we need everything to be just right before we can begin a project, or on the flip side, we keep working on a project until it is perfect, meaning it never gets done. So, if we need to get something done and we notice perfectionism getting in the way, what can be done? There are several mindset shifts that can help us let go of perfectionism.

Structure, while naturally abhorrent to the ADHD brain, is necessary to live a productive and successful life. Sometimes a simple structure is not enough to keep you on the right path. That is when you need to up your game and implement a fierce structure. A fierce structure involves taking drastic measures to discourage unwanted behavior and encourage wanted behavior. The idea of a “fierce structure” comes from ADHD coach Barbara Luther who has been instrumental in teaching many ADHD coaches how to best serve those with ADHD. Let’s take a look at five fierce structures that might be of benefit to you.

If you pulled up this blog post hoping for ADHD tips, I am sorry to report I have none this week. So, if you were only hoping to gain some ADHD wisdom, you may stop reading at this point and wait for next week. If, however, you are willing to read on, I will share something personal going on in my life.

On Tuesday, Mar 29, 2022, I brought my dog, Charlie, to the vet. Charlie was not due for a checkup until May, but Charlie was struggling. I could rattle off a long list of what he was dealing with, but to save time, I will just say that he was struggling. After the vet examined him, it was determined that it was time to say goodbye. Reset ADHD had to say goodbye to its “Senior Nap Specialist,” and I had to say goodbye to my best friend.

Patience is a muscle. It needs to be strengthened for it to work properly. In short, we learn to be patient by embracing those situations where patience is required of us. Instead of stewing in impatience, embrace the opportunity to practice patience. Here are 5 ways to do so.

I write this on the day the round of 64 begins for the NCAA basketball tournament. I am wondering how I will stay focused when all of these exciting basketball games are going on. Not all of my readers are college basketball fans, but all of us are fans of something. It can be a challenge to stay focused and productive when there is something exciting happening in the world. Heck, it is hard to stay focused when there is something terrible going on. You may be distracted by the NCAA tournament, or you may be distracted by the war in Ukraine. Whatever is going on, society, school, your employer, etc. expects you to stay productive. So, what can be done when other things are vying for our attention?

Managing your ADHD is kind of like fulfilling an order at a Burger King. The slogan for Burger King used to be “Have it your way.” I maintain this is a principle that ADHDers ought to adapt. You see, you have to manage your ADHD your way.

If you have ADHD, you might find that you struggle with time management. In fact, there is a very strong likelihood that you will struggle with time management. It is an executive function skill we ADHDers just do not have. We tend to focus on the present much more than the future. Because of this, we get so wrapped up with what we are doing that we forget about what we need to be doing later. In short, we have no internal sense of time. What we need to do, then, is externalize time.

Last week, I wrote about embracing imperfection. This week’s blog post might sound contradictory to that idea. However, it is not. We must be okay with not being perfect, but that does not mean accepting mediocrity. We have the ability to do great things, and we must strive for excellence. It is imperative that we achieve greatness because to accept anything less than excellence denies our worth. Who we are is not ADHDers. We are human beings endowed with innate dignity. That is why we must strive for excellence.

Many of us with ADHD are prone to perfectionism. We want everything to be as perfect as possible. This leads to all sorts of difficulties from procrastinating starting on something until we know it will go perfectly to constantly not finishing projects or assignments. This can be frustrating for us and infuriating to others. There is one little trick to getting past these struggles. That trick is to embrace imperfection.

When it comes to managing your ADHD, there is surviving, and then there is thriving. Many with ADHD merely survive. What I hope for in my clients and my readers is that they thrive in life. To thrive as an ADHDer means to level up and reach a whole new height of living.

When I was in junior high and high school, I wanted desperately to fit in. So, what did I do? I did what I thought was expected of me. I said the things I thought I was supposed to say. I acted the way I thought others wanted me to act. Did it work? No. I had very few friends in junior high and high school. I bounced around from friend group to friend group, not really feeling comfortable anywhere. By the time high school ended, I felt alone and desperately wanted a new start.

Growing up, I always felt different, and I could never put my finger on why. It was not until I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 20 that I began to understand why I was the way I was. This realization has explained why I always felt different.

The first time I attended the International Conference on ADHD, I felt very alone when I first arrived. Sure, I was able to talk to some of my classmates from the ADD Coach Academy, but I am an introvert with social anxiety. So, I was awkward and uncomfortable. Then, at one of the keynote addresses, I sat down and heard a voice behind me say, “Oh good, it’s you.”

I cannot remember how old I was when I first thought that I might possibly have ADHD. But, I do remember the first time I asked someone if it was possible that I had ADHD. I was rebuffed. That was that. However, I continued to underperform in school.

I am not someone who paints ADHD as a superpower. However, I am not someone who sees it as the worst thing in the world either. It simply is what it is. It can wreak havoc in your life, but the big three characteristics of ADHD have positive sides to them. Each one has a “flip side.”

I do not believe I have ever mentioned this on this blog, but I do improv. I get a suggestion and then make up a scene with another performer. I love it. Improv is one of the most fun things I have ever done. I believe everyone who tries improv can walk away with some skill that applies to their real life. If there is one thing you can learn from improv, it is to “yes and…”

As 2021 comes to a close, many people will be thinking of their 2022 New Year’s resolution. I, however, will not be. I know, I know! I am in the personal transformation business; shouldn’t I be making a New Year’s resolution? Well, no, not necessarily. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions; I make today resolutions. In short, I make resolutions when it is time to make a change, not because of something as arbitrary as the change from one year to another.