Those of us with ADHD can be pulled in many different directions. We find a lot of things interesting. Some become lifelong obsessions. Others fade away quickly. How can we tell what will stay in our lives and what will fade away? It is not easy, and this can be especially frustrating when it comes to determining what we want to be when we grow up. So, what can be done to figure out what one needs to know in order to pick a career?

Self-care is a necessity. If you do not take care of yourself, you will be unable to take care of everything else going on in your life. Taking care of yourself is not easy, though. It can be hard to find the time to do it, and it can be hard to know what to do for self-care. For example, treating yourself to ice cream might sound like self-care, but if done too often, it can lead to health problems. (Every once in a while, ice cream is okay.) So, what follows is a selection of self-care tips and ideas.

It is important to identify your needs as an ADHDer. The world will not identify them for you, and even if the world does identify “needs,” they may not be your specific needs. We are all different and have different needs, so what is needed for one person may not be needed for you. You need to identify your specific needs in order to live a fulfilling life.

Dogs are great. I have written before about why every ADHDer needs a doggo in their life. I wrote it around my dog Charlie’s birthday in 2018. A couple of months later, I got a second dog, Ace. Charlie has since passed away, but I still have Ace. Charlie and Ace have taught me so much. In this blog post, I want to talk about some things we can learn from dogs. This will not be a pitch for getting a dog. Rather, I want to look at dogs and how they live their lives, and I want to enumerate what ADHDers can learn from them.

We all have dragons to slay. By dragons, I mean the big scary tasks that we know we have to do or want to do but have a sense of overwhelm when thinking about doing it. These tasks can seem insurmountable, but they can be done. They might be difficult, but we can do difficult things.

The first thing you need is a plan of attack. Break down what you need or want to do into tiny steps. Figure out where to start and how to best accomplish what you need or want to do.

In 2019, I wrote a blog post entitled “5 Things Every ADHDer Should Know to Avoid Despair.” In it, I listed 5 things to remember to help maintain a positive mindset. I would like to add 5 more to the list and inspire some hope.

ADHDers are prone to perfectionism. This can wreck our productivity. We sometimes feel we need everything to be just right before we can begin a project, or on the flip side, we keep working on a project until it is perfect, meaning it never gets done. So, if we need to get something done and we notice perfectionism getting in the way, what can be done? There are several mindset shifts that can help us let go of perfectionism.

Last week, I wrote about embracing imperfection. This week’s blog post might sound contradictory to that idea. However, it is not. We must be okay with not being perfect, but that does not mean accepting mediocrity. We have the ability to do great things, and we must strive for excellence. It is imperative that we achieve greatness because to accept anything less than excellence denies our worth. Who we are is not ADHDers. We are human beings endowed with innate dignity. That is why we must strive for excellence.

Many of us with ADHD are prone to perfectionism. We want everything to be as perfect as possible. This leads to all sorts of difficulties from procrastinating starting on something until we know it will go perfectly to constantly not finishing projects or assignments. This can be frustrating for us and infuriating to others. There is one little trick to getting past these struggles. That trick is to embrace imperfection.

When it comes to managing your ADHD, there is surviving, and then there is thriving. Many with ADHD merely survive. What I hope for in my clients and my readers is that they thrive in life. To thrive as an ADHDer means to level up and reach a whole new height of living.

When I was in junior high and high school, I wanted desperately to fit in. So, what did I do? I did what I thought was expected of me. I said the things I thought I was supposed to say. I acted the way I thought others wanted me to act. Did it work? No. I had very few friends in junior high and high school. I bounced around from friend group to friend group, not really feeling comfortable anywhere. By the time high school ended, I felt alone and desperately wanted a new start.

Growing up, I always felt different, and I could never put my finger on why. It was not until I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 20 that I began to understand why I was the way I was. This realization has explained why I always felt different.

The first time I attended the International Conference on ADHD, I felt very alone when I first arrived. Sure, I was able to talk to some of my classmates from the ADD Coach Academy, but I am an introvert with social anxiety. So, I was awkward and uncomfortable. Then, at one of the keynote addresses, I sat down and heard a voice behind me say, “Oh good, it’s you.”

I cannot remember how old I was when I first thought that I might possibly have ADHD. But, I do remember the first time I asked someone if it was possible that I had ADHD. I was rebuffed. That was that. However, I continued to underperform in school.

I am not someone who paints ADHD as a superpower. However, I am not someone who sees it as the worst thing in the world either. It simply is what it is. It can wreak havoc in your life, but the big three characteristics of ADHD have positive sides to them. Each one has a “flip side.”

I do not believe I have ever mentioned this on this blog, but I do improv. I get a suggestion and then make up a scene with another performer. I love it. Improv is one of the most fun things I have ever done. I believe everyone who tries improv can walk away with some skill that applies to their real life. If there is one thing you can learn from improv, it is to “yes and…”

As 2021 comes to a close, many people will be thinking of their 2022 New Year’s resolution. I, however, will not be. I know, I know! I am in the personal transformation business; shouldn’t I be making a New Year’s resolution? Well, no, not necessarily. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions; I make today resolutions. In short, I make resolutions when it is time to make a change, not because of something as arbitrary as the change from one year to another.

This week the United States celebrates Thanksgiving, a time to come together with family and friends to remember all for which we are grateful. This takes the form of a giant meal. So, are we really grateful, or do we just enjoy turkey? I am not here to pass judgment on anyone’s Thanksgiving plans, but I do want to say a word on the subject of gratitude. I promise to not be cheesy.

Life with ADHD can be stressful. It leads to mental anguish, but that anguish can be overcome. It is possible to make peace with your ADHD. In this final week of ADHD awareness month, let’s explore some ways to make peace with your ADHD.